2008 Woodie Awards
Technology to the extreme, introducing a new revolutionary gadget for personal convenience
By: Spencer Marshak
Issue date: 5/7/08 Section: Opinion
I would like to introduce you to the Toto Neorest 6000, one of the most technologically advanced items I have ever come across. It's incredibly sleek, incredibly hi-tech, and ridiculously expensive.
Some people have been calling it the next big thing, and that it will revolutionize the way we live our daily lives.
Want to know what it is?
You truly may not believe me.
It's a toilet. Seriously.
The Neorest 6000 has everything I would want in a girlfriend, let alone a toilet. The seat is always heated to your personal preference, it knows to lift or lower its seat when someone is approaching through a motion censor system, and it flushes automatically. In fact, the flush has a not one, not two, but three-stage cyclone flush sequence that essentially cleans the toilet as it flushes.
This throne also has a built in, high powered deodorant dispenser system, as well as a white-noise maker that allows for the utmost amount of comfort and privacy. You can even regulate the pressure and temperature of the water if you so desire.
To top things off, the Neorest 6000 can also literally adapt and "learn" about its surroundings by being able to remember when and how often it is and is not used. During a part of the day where it is rarely used, the early morning hours for instance, it will enter power-saving mode to help you save electricity.
Yes, owners of the Neorest 6000 will have a toilet that uses electricity. Of all of the things I can fathom, a toilet that requires electricity to open its own lid and flush itself confuses me in such ways that are essentially unexplainable.
How much will this john cost you? Anywhere from $5,000 to $6,000.
My car, which, granted, I bought used, was cheaper than that.
If you don't feel like spending that much on a toilet, you can buy the 6000's little brother, the Neorest 600 for $2,000. It contains essentially all of the features as the 6000 model, but uses a wireless remote control to control all of its functions instead of them being automatic.
Some people have been calling it the next big thing, and that it will revolutionize the way we live our daily lives.
Want to know what it is?
You truly may not believe me.
It's a toilet. Seriously.
The Neorest 6000 has everything I would want in a girlfriend, let alone a toilet. The seat is always heated to your personal preference, it knows to lift or lower its seat when someone is approaching through a motion censor system, and it flushes automatically. In fact, the flush has a not one, not two, but three-stage cyclone flush sequence that essentially cleans the toilet as it flushes.
This throne also has a built in, high powered deodorant dispenser system, as well as a white-noise maker that allows for the utmost amount of comfort and privacy. You can even regulate the pressure and temperature of the water if you so desire.
To top things off, the Neorest 6000 can also literally adapt and "learn" about its surroundings by being able to remember when and how often it is and is not used. During a part of the day where it is rarely used, the early morning hours for instance, it will enter power-saving mode to help you save electricity.
Yes, owners of the Neorest 6000 will have a toilet that uses electricity. Of all of the things I can fathom, a toilet that requires electricity to open its own lid and flush itself confuses me in such ways that are essentially unexplainable.
How much will this john cost you? Anywhere from $5,000 to $6,000.
My car, which, granted, I bought used, was cheaper than that.
If you don't feel like spending that much on a toilet, you can buy the 6000's little brother, the Neorest 600 for $2,000. It contains essentially all of the features as the 6000 model, but uses a wireless remote control to control all of its functions instead of them being automatic.
Be the first to comment on this story