2008 Woodie Awards
Inspirational quotes from a classic TV show
'South Park' be damned. 'The Simpsons' remains the best cartoon show on television, offers words to live by inspires a host of imitators
By: Spencer Marshak
Issue date: 5/7/08 Section: Opinion
You know that one quote you live by? Everyone seems to have one.
"Do what you can with what you've got wherever you are."
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."
"Watch the little things; a small leak will sink a giant ship."
Those are nice and all, but sorry, they don't cut it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the most important quote generator of a generation. And no, it's not a philosopher, scientist, or Dr. Phil. In fact, these words of advice far surpass anything that will ever come out of Dr. Phil's mouth.
Homer Simpson, take it away.
"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
"Here's to alcohol, the cause of-and solution to-all life's problems."
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called...'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"
OK, so maybe that last one may not count as advice to live by, but seriously, it's pretty damn funny. I can understand why "The Simpsons" has had its fair share of controversy over the years, but come on, some of the quotes that came out of those characters' mouths throughout the years are just hysterical.
I grew up quoting so many various characters on the show that I can probably sit here and quote scripts of that show verbatim. Whether I should be proud of that is a conversation to be had another day, but I know I am not the only one who uses Simpsons quotes in their daily lives.
At least one other person reading this has to have screamed "Go Banana!" at some point in their lives, just like Ralph Wiggum did when he tried to race a banana against an orange and grapefruit. Obviously, due to the lack of a banana being round and able to roll, he lost that race in an embarrassing, yet overwhelmingly funny fashion.
Or how about that one time when Mr. Burns, so confused out of his mind, shrieks, "Whoa, slow down there maestro. There's a 'New' Mexico?"
"Do what you can with what you've got wherever you are."
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."
"Watch the little things; a small leak will sink a giant ship."
Those are nice and all, but sorry, they don't cut it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the most important quote generator of a generation. And no, it's not a philosopher, scientist, or Dr. Phil. In fact, these words of advice far surpass anything that will ever come out of Dr. Phil's mouth.
Homer Simpson, take it away.
"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
"Here's to alcohol, the cause of-and solution to-all life's problems."
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called...'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"
OK, so maybe that last one may not count as advice to live by, but seriously, it's pretty damn funny. I can understand why "The Simpsons" has had its fair share of controversy over the years, but come on, some of the quotes that came out of those characters' mouths throughout the years are just hysterical.
I grew up quoting so many various characters on the show that I can probably sit here and quote scripts of that show verbatim. Whether I should be proud of that is a conversation to be had another day, but I know I am not the only one who uses Simpsons quotes in their daily lives.
At least one other person reading this has to have screamed "Go Banana!" at some point in their lives, just like Ralph Wiggum did when he tried to race a banana against an orange and grapefruit. Obviously, due to the lack of a banana being round and able to roll, he lost that race in an embarrassing, yet overwhelmingly funny fashion.
Or how about that one time when Mr. Burns, so confused out of his mind, shrieks, "Whoa, slow down there maestro. There's a 'New' Mexico?"
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