Even Santa wears one!

What is on everyone's wish list this Christmas? In years gone by, the perfect gift might just bring a tear to the eye of that special someone. This year, the gift to get does exactly the opposite. I'm not talking about the newest gaming console or the talking doll that poops and tells you about it. I'm talking about gas masks. That's right, gas masks are the new gift to get those on the nice list this year. Thanks to our friend Amazon.com, we have a wide assortment of styles and colors available. In fact, some masks come in olive green, olive drab green, dark forest green, and the ever-popular army green. The most versatile color is probably basic black because it can go with anything.

Imagine if you're walking to church in that perfect suit or long beautiful dress and all of a sudden it's time to don your little friend to respiration. Wouldn't it be horrible if due to a lack of foresight you mistakenly forget to wear your olive drab Sunday best on that particular morning? You wouldn't want to clash horribly when your friends see your mug shot on the evening news would you? That's why sticking to the simple little black gas mask is probably your best bet this yule tide season.

One of the great advantages to this little gift that keeps on giving is that you'll probably get a chance to try it out very soon! We are lucky enough that we live in a world where pranksters with pepper spray aren't thugs or terrorists, well not officially anyway; they are our very own police. I can remember my first gas mask. I almost never got to use it! It was a crying shame. I put hours into maintaining it, every few months, I replaced the canister and did operation check after operation check and nothing. Not a once did I get a chance to make sure my little face hugging buddy was up to the task. Nowadays it seems all you have to do is sit down with a few of your friend on a local campus; and viola, it is gas time!

I know what you're thinking. With all this added Christmas cheer, why didn't we start ignoring the first amendment years ago! I mean not only did that pesky little addition to our constitution permit freedom of religion, but it allowed everyone to say anything they wanted and even assemble in public! Wow, can you imagine a world in which such free thinking was even allowed? How would the overlords ever get anything done? Through all that noise how could they tell us what to think and believe? It's dreadful to contemplate isn't it? Well I for one am gold that things have changed for the better. Oh wait I'm sorry I think there's a smudge on my morning mood memo from my overseer. Yep I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be "glad", my mistake. So to clarify I'm "glad", at least until informed otherwise. 

Now a gas mask might not be for everyone. Let's be honest, there are those of us who like to give a gift that will last a lifetime. For those of you that look at the big picture and anticipate future trends might I recommend what some predict will be the "it" gift for next year? I'm talking about the DUPONT® Commander EX™ Brigade Level A Hazmat Suit With Sealed Seams (available at labsafety.com). That's right holiday shoppers for that moment when our wily little badged buddies take it to the next level; you might as well be prepared for everything. So next year when everyone is wearing last year's gas mask, and our little boys in blue are using the latest in crowd control techniques, whether it be mustard gas or phosgene, you'll be ready!

This December as your friends and family are strutting their stuff in front of the mirror in their new fashionable breathing apparatuses (if they have the proper strutting permit of course), I know we'll all be dreaming of a cyan Christmas. Have a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year, or else!